The year 2025 derailed me beyond words. It truly is difficult for me to write. As I was establishing myself in a community and finding a path in what I thought was a "new chapter" of my life, it was blocked completely, forcing me to pivot. As I now try to find new grounding, the activities, people and missions I was thoroughly loving are now far from my grasp and feel far away.
Reflecting, I have always had involvement - from growing my own small business while working in the corporate world and remodeling homes, to having an incredible child which led me to volunteering like a madwoman, and eventually leading fitness classes while working... my life has always overflowed with outlets and involvement.
Let me pause to express how immensely grateful I am to have returned to my previous agency for employment. The team I work with is a tremendous blessing and the opportunities I have in learning are incredible. Maybe those who said I was overqualified for the Executive Director role with the North Lake Travis Chamber of Commerce were right. Maybe I would have "been bored." I doubt it, but none the less, I was overlooked and underappreciated. I am blown away by the feedback I am receiving after just seven months in my current position.
While looking to some of my close friends on "where do I share my energies," one amazing friend of mine told me to stop. She indicated that perhaps it's time I focus on myself and take a break. At the time, that left me a bit frustrated. What if I can't figure out how to do that. There are only so many face masks and pedicures and sitting in my sorrow trying to reassure myself that I still hold relevancy.
In my session today, my therapist suggested I re-frame my thinking that instead of feeling lost or that my purpose is spent, I am in a new search. I do have a lot to offer... I just haven't found where to put those energies yet. And, to be honest, that is comforting. I have been trying to grant myself grace. Taking a new management position with great demand of time-sensitive work and living in a new space is difficult. My brain, body and spirit have needed to re-set. It's okay that I haven't found that fit yet for a greater purpose. My coworkers appreciate my dedication and my commitment. My path does continue. New book or a new chapter, I will follow the way that my light shines bright.
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