Let me start by stating that I think everyone's "Relationship Status" is Complicated. Together, apart; straight, bi; single, married - all relationships have challenges. People strive for a perfection that doesn't exist. I have yet to view too many people post an argument, a betrayal, a disappointment on social media. And as humans, we all have them, so I thank you all for having maturity and respect in that manner. (Or you just discovered that I don't follow you on social media.)
I recently read this quote by Delia Mooney:
"the truth is, according to multiple studies referenced in her book, almost everything we think we know about the benefits of marriage or
the dangers of staying single are completely exaggerated and often,
just plain wrong. Case in point: Married people are not necessarily
happier than single people."
I do not regret marrying Chad when I did. Yes, we were very young, but I still believe, regardless of age, we are meant to continue to always grow and evolve as people. The goal is to do it together - not to become the same person, but to fully support one another in your similarities and even more so in the differences. Time that passes when you begin down separate paths can make it more difficult to reconnect.
Most marriages have a common flow... excitement to comfort, maybe to a little boredom, then back to reconnecting... I do wish I had handled things differently, but looking back at decisions and questioning what was done doesn't change the future. The steps taken every day from here and now form the path ahead.
Evolving and growing requires change. It happened to me without my even being aware. I found myself in a Midwest role that I knew I wasn't fully enjoying, but I was making the most of it. I was pretty excited to have the opportunities I had in Peoria. Being on stage, encouraging JFL cheerleaders, being a volunteer for non-profits and celebrating the business community, I definitely found ways to love my life!
I would never have chosen the circumstances that pushed me to move to Austin, Texas. I wanted Chad to get a new job and have to move because of his career. I didn't want to instigate such drastic differences. I was terrified, but I focused on the excitement... on what could be. It was frightening and intimidating, but I realized I would have stayed complacent in Illinois if I hadn't taken the risk. Just going through the motions of living and trying to amplify the bits of happiness that I created... and that's not the best life to live.
Not only am I a different woman from when I was a young bride, but my identity has changed so much through the years since. I am supportive of the "Texas Girl" I have become. Many more changes still lie ahead, but I have nothing but to be ready and focus on becoming who I am meant to be... whoever she is.
