A dear friend of mine just lost her second round battling cancer on March 27th. More than that, however, our world lost the presence of one of the most positive, encouraging spirits I have ever met.
In all her roles, Amy led fitness classes, but I met her when our children were attending Elementary school. She had a fierce, powerful presence that was a bit intimidating when I first saw her, but when I made a comment and we started our first conversation, I immediately knew that she was an amazing being that I simply HAD to have in my life.
Moving school districts, I was not able to see Amy frequently, but social media kept us in touch. We never "got together" nearly enough, yet, the times I was able to spend with her - even if they were moments - were always inspiring. My heart is aching that I will not be able to share any more time on this planet with her, and I am unbelievably sad that I cannot be in Illinois to say a farewell to her and offer any support to her family.
The fact that there are billions of us roaming around this planet and that I am so blessed to know so many incredible individuals truly blows my mind sometimes. My dad asked me on the phone last night if I miss Illinois... I miss the people. I miss the community. I miss seeing so many lovable faces and having so many fantastic talks.
But it also makes me feel lucky. There is a bit of every friendship that I carry with me, that makes me the unique person that I am and continue to aspire to be. I only wish we had more time to spend together - and time is not guaranteed to any of us. It feels cliche to echo the "make the most of today, it could be your last" comments that most people voice after losing someone they love. But it is true - death reminds us that we are still alive. Most of us get into sort of a panic that we need to spend every possible moment while we are here making our lives grand and doing what we can to make the lives of others even better than that!
Sadness fades as people ease back into routines. I do, however, feel it's a little different for me right now, being 1,000 miles from so many people that have my heart. I hope it makes me different anyway. I want it to change me and help me appreciate every day a bit more.
Amy's spirit is one of the encouragements I had when I finally decided to go for it and obtain certification as a dance fitness instructor this year. There will always be a piece of her inspiration with me when I share my SHiNE classes. It will help me have courage to keep doing things out of my comfort zone, and her compassion will show through me as I encourage others. Life can go on... just in a different form.
May the Force be with you, Amy. You will always be a true hero.
Wednesday, March 28, 2018
Thursday, March 15, 2018
Always Challenges - Nothing is Easy
"If it doesn't challenge you, it won't change you." Road blocks and hurdles. My life. I'm sure most people have struggles, but honestly, I question why nothing is ever easy for me. Ever.
From moving to a new city, achieving my certification as a dance fitness instructor, having a medical procedure done... I am constantly accepting that nothing goes as I plan or how I perceive it should. It's taken quite a while, but I am learning that it's all part of the process. My process anyway. Accepting it and letting go of the outcomes... it's difficult, but I know that I have gotten better about it. I think because I cannot control life, I developed the passion for planning events.
While continuing to face challenges and persevere is my goal and the messages I want to share, I admit that it gets tiring. And old. I have too many "why the hell can't things just happen?" moments. Since I don't want to write about those, I have started, edited and scrapped Post after Post the last couple months. Then, we watched the animated film called "Inside Out" this past weekend.
The realization that sadness and joy are partners really hit me. Rather than focus on the obstacles, look at the steps taken for achievements. They go together. If things are meant to be, it will work out how it's supposed to in the end. And if not, it was a lesson. While I don't like to complain and I resist negativity as much as I can, my feelings of helplessness and despair do give me depth as a person. Discouragement is something we should all be able to relate to. While some of my friends seem to have easier lives than others, we all have our disappointments and hardships. It's how we as humans connect. True friendships share the hard times, and that helps them celebrate the joys even more.
Life is not simple, and finding glimmers of hope can seem impossible at times. But darkness is required for us to enjoy light... and we need to be comfortable with both. On my "Continuing" path, (https://www.facebook.com/marnisblog/?pnref=lhc), I do want to share that the constant resilience is the most difficult part for me. I have challenges, and they help change me... so they will keep coming, and I will keep learning.
From moving to a new city, achieving my certification as a dance fitness instructor, having a medical procedure done... I am constantly accepting that nothing goes as I plan or how I perceive it should. It's taken quite a while, but I am learning that it's all part of the process. My process anyway. Accepting it and letting go of the outcomes... it's difficult, but I know that I have gotten better about it. I think because I cannot control life, I developed the passion for planning events.
While continuing to face challenges and persevere is my goal and the messages I want to share, I admit that it gets tiring. And old. I have too many "why the hell can't things just happen?" moments. Since I don't want to write about those, I have started, edited and scrapped Post after Post the last couple months. Then, we watched the animated film called "Inside Out" this past weekend.
The realization that sadness and joy are partners really hit me. Rather than focus on the obstacles, look at the steps taken for achievements. They go together. If things are meant to be, it will work out how it's supposed to in the end. And if not, it was a lesson. While I don't like to complain and I resist negativity as much as I can, my feelings of helplessness and despair do give me depth as a person. Discouragement is something we should all be able to relate to. While some of my friends seem to have easier lives than others, we all have our disappointments and hardships. It's how we as humans connect. True friendships share the hard times, and that helps them celebrate the joys even more.
Life is not simple, and finding glimmers of hope can seem impossible at times. But darkness is required for us to enjoy light... and we need to be comfortable with both. On my "Continuing" path, (https://www.facebook.com/marnisblog/?pnref=lhc), I do want to share that the constant resilience is the most difficult part for me. I have challenges, and they help change me... so they will keep coming, and I will keep learning.
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