I am now officially a Texan. I no longer have an address in Illinois. My car has TX license plates, and I received my new Driver License in the mail this week at my newest Austin address.
Finality. An irreversible ending. There really is no going back.
When I think about all that has happened over the past three and a half months, I am overwhelmed. In just fifteen weeks, I have enjoyed and suffered so much change. From living in a house, moving into a studio, being forced to buy a new car, and settling in a two-bedroom apartment, I have learned new tasks at a new job and been able to meet pretty cool people. Visiting so many places, I have experienced amazing food, fantastic drinks and interesting conversations with people. A few fun nights dancing. A hurricane weekend. And I have been drained of so much money. So. Much. Money.
But all of life comes with a cost, right? Spend money to make money. You can't take it with you. Life is a journey - or a roller coaster... or a journey on a roller coaster. We have all these quotes and philosophy, and when real shit happens - when you sell your home of over eight years: where you pictured your daughter graduating high school, the place where you celebrated so many awesome times with friends, yet a place of disappointments, loss and despair - it makes you think.
Where am I supposed to be? What the hell am I supposed to be doing? Am I happy? Will I be happy? What exactly IS happy?
I will continue to miss my hometown, my friends, my family, and my life. At least, the life I had and where I thought I could go. In August, I left all of it behind for new opportunities, lessons and adventures. It has not been easy. "Marni's Shit Show" entries were just highlights - no one was in it with me every single day. I was alone. Surviving with the goal of thriving, I am proud that I made it through everything.
Every day, I have had lessons to learn and re-learn when necessary. Every week, I assessed the pros and cons of my accomplishments. Every moment, I have been aware of my capabilities and my independence. And I coached myself to push and get through it all.
So, with the completion of the sale of a house on Orchard Lane in Peoria, I am sad, but ready for the next phase(s). I honestly have no idea what is in store in 2018, let alone the next few years, but I do know, 100%, that I can take life's challenges and I will come out on top. If perspective has taught me anything, at least I'll be in a pretty good head-space. I hope y'all will be there with me to laugh at the ridiculousness of my path and to toast to all the hurdles I have cleared. Love to you all.
