Monday, May 9, 2016

Imperfect Plans with Perfect Results

Being a perfectionist, my planning has gotten the better of me throughout the years.  Being a perfectionist who is also a mother has proven to be quite a challenge.  As they say, "the best laid plans often go astray."

Over the past eight years, however, I have had plenty of opportunities to change my obsession with things running smoothly.  When I closed my business in 2008, I looked at Hope's summer break from school, and using the actual words of "I plan to be spontaneous," we made lists of how we could spend days together.  She was six years old, by the way, but she shared many ideas of what we could do together throughout the summer.

Not every day went well.  I learned to be flexible when plans had to shift due to weather or places we wanted to visit being closed or any other circumstances.

This past weekend, Hope and I went on a trip together to Schaumburg.  We have traveled together as a duo before, but she's a teenager now, and since beginning my new job, I don't get to spend as much time with her.  Our primary purpose was her dance competition, but it was also Mother's Day, so I was hoping for some much-needed bonding time.  So much has changed with our relationship... I have held a few different jobs since she was six years old.  She has changed schools twice.  She is becoming a remarkable young woman who will enter high school this August.  And I am still working on so much with myself.  There are too many days that I wonder how in the world I am supposed to help this beautiful human become a "grown-up" when I still don't know what I want for my life?!

We had a few glitches in our weekend plans, but overall, we had a fantastic time.  I was easily able to shift my perspective and focus on all the good that happened.  She taught me how to take a "Mirror Selfie" and showed me her daily makeup routine.  She instructed me on how to do a "Messy Bun," but I don't think she ever realized just how much more long, beautiful hair she has then her mom!  She actually had me join her in one of her Phhhoto app videos (I am honored!).

We had long discussions, we danced and sang together in the car, we shopped, we got to be poolside.  We laughed... a lot!  It was a terrific break from routine.  And I think she respects who I am trying to be... or maybe she admires that I am still trying, and that's the point.  She's a person - I will never know all of what she thinks or believes, but I feel she would tell me the truth.

The entire "parenting" plan hasn't played out as I envisioned, but I am truly loving who this daughter of mine is becoming.  It's proof that successful planning is actually doing your best... then letting go and just enjoying what happens. 

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