Bid Farewell to Expectations

We have all suffered heartbreak and disappointment.  Rejection hurts, and I'm not sure it ever gets easier.  With all these people roaming our planet, we are blessed to encounter kindred spirits and soul mates.  Unfortunately, we meet people who also are some sort of "life lesson" that we may or may not ever understand.  People that we believe in and want in our lives, but it doesn't always work out.

It's not always the person that is what we miss so much, though.  We miss the expectations and the excitement... the "what could have been."  The person is just a person - it's the filter that we used to view them that we need to change in order to heal.

However exciting or attractive or happy this person caused us to feel... we are still the same.  We didn't change.  Yet, after being hurt or neglected or turned down, we feel less worthy, less appealing, less confident.  When they pull their interest or support away, we tend to think that it was something we did or something they learned about us that they didn't like.  But it isn't us - it is them.

We are still the awesome, incredible individuals that we were when they entered our lives.  We allowed them to control our feelings.  With or without intent, we handed over our power.  We made them important because we liked, maybe even obsessed over where we imagined the relationship progressing.  The possibilities keep us attracted and sometimes blind us.

But they fell short.  That isn't our fault, but we do have the abilities to take back our control of our thought patterns and move on.  Get the filter off of what the imagination made us see and believe. Sometimes the truth hurts because the reality is so disappointing compared to the initial thoughts.

Expectations can be land mines... try to instead focus on moments as they are.  Enjoy them without placing too much invested emotions on where it could lead.  Just savor.  If the other person is scared or for whatever reason cannot cherish time spent with you, shift your perspective back to you.  Know that you deserve better.

Removing the lens hurts, and it can be a long, difficult, sad process.  But when you know you are doing it so that your own self-value can shine, it helps.  Remember that your view is up to YOU. While others can (and will) let you down, you have the ability to change your perspective and thoughts.