The Only Thing Constant...

So - Friday's entry in my daily meditation book:
     I am a process.  Life is a process.  Alterations are part of the process.

This hits hard right now and I have been reflecting on it a lot.  Moving to North Austin for the high school of our choice (all three of us decided together for different reasons) is not easy for me.  I made my studio in South Central ATX my home.  I loved my commute.  Being in the center of all this city's energy was so amazing... but I didn't accept this job and relocate only for myself.

I have truly learned, however, that the only way I can be the greatest for everyone else is to take measures to make myself the best I can be, and a balance is necessary.  Compromise.  There has to be a solution.  I have stepped up to so many challenges in Texas and actually feel so different now, but a core piece of me is missing (other than my friends and family).

Since moving, I have really missed my fantastic experiences learning CIZE with Mary Maripat Hartman and The Fitness Marshall videos and live concert workouts.  I felt so incredible.  Relocating twice now, I haven't had many evenings free yet to try classes in Austin.  The two I have attended have been great, but now I feel like I have a lot of catching up to do with myself.

Timing classes in Austin is a hurdle - the traffic is never consistent, so I worry about scheduling (and paying) for classes if I am physically unable to get to them on time.  However, I have to make this a priority.  If I don't, I know that I will be consumed but anger, bitterness and regret.

Alterations.  Unlike clothing, with ourselves, these are on-going.  And sometimes, as soon as you find your groove, Karma comes in and shakes things up.  It seems pretty easy to become bitter and blame everyone and everything else for your "bad luck."  But that behavior doesn't make anything better.

Only you can change your own perspective.  I've always known this, but when you are sinking into a pit of despair and frustration, and you feel like you have no "fight" left... it's so difficult to see any chance of hope left.  Those are the testing moments.  The times that challenge your character.  You either quit and sulk, or you rise up and refuse to be brought down.

Obviously, I am not only talking about my need to make time in my schedule for a workout class... but, big or small, the way we spend our time either makes us happy or makes us miserable.  It is up to each of us.  While sometimes, we really are helpless - I cannot magically get a job offer for Chad, nor can I manifest the perfect person to buy our house in Illinois - other challenges give us a chance to examine our own power over situations. 
 
See the process and adjust yourself to the process, when possible.  Make the choice to do what you can, but also be patient and recognize that the right thing is on its way.  I have the choice to redirect my perspective and let go of what I cannot control.  It's difficult, yes, but feeling sorry for yourself doesn't make the situations change in your favor, either.  Finding peace with the things I am not able to fix is the only way to survive.  And the only thing constant is change, so while unhappy, knowing it cannot last forever - something is bound to shift - certainly helps sometimes!