Disappointment

How drastic do your feelings change for someone when they have hurt you or let you down?

Does it depend on how long you have known the person?  How often they seem to have disregard for you?  If you see him or her often, do you process the hurt feelings differently?  Are you quick to write someone off or do you find yourself giving the culprit chance after chance to make it up to you?

It's been said that there is a very fine line between love and hate.  Easy examples are divorce and break-ups.  Someone you once committed to spend your existence on the planet with becomes your biggest enemy.  And why not?  The people who know us the best are able to truly hit us where it hurts the most.  They know all our vulnerabilities... all our weaknesses.

I know that pain changes me.  I try to gain strength from the hurt, but really I know I just suppress the feelings.  I create distance.  I am unable to deal.   I used to seek other people to fill the void or put additional focus onto projects or activities.  I avoid because the "wrong-doer" no longer cares, and that's too painful for me to accept.

Scars are tougher than skin so as to prevent wounds again.  Calluses develop to eliminate recurring blisters.  But a broken heart can only harden to a cold, hollow space.  We try to mend our hearts, but they are continually fragile, and a piece of mine does not return when I have been deeply hurt.

Humans will always let others down.  We can't help it - it's our nature and no one is available 100%, 24/7.  Most of the time, I like to think I am pretty understanding.  While I know I am "high maintenance," I don't expect more from others that I honestly know I can put forth.

Again in life, I believe there is a balance, but also honesty and care.  When I do let someone down, I hope that I mean enough, that he or she will call me out on it.  If the topic isn't raised, there will be no sense of mending.  However, if the hurt is continual, that is when it turns toxic and letting go is the best option.

My own challenge is forgiveness.  When I am mistreated and there is no apology, I struggle with letting it go and moving on.  I know I take everything far too personally, and I have truly been working on stopping that.  It's difficult to change your feelings, but I don't think it's impossible.

Winds of Change

By influence and support of my good friend, Amy, I am going to attempt "blogging."

The realm I am going to attempt to examine, dissect, analyze is CHANGE.

There are so many types of change and many areas of my personal life that are definitely changing right now. If I can share my experiences and also my opinions of change, perhaps others can be enlightened that while sometimes scary, because of the "unknown," change can present new accomplishments, new goals that one was not even aware of before.

Amy's recent blog post about Ghandi's famous quote of BEING the change that one wants in the world convinced me that this is a fabulous topic that needs more coverage. Personally, I invite you to post your experiences and your coping mechanisms. Change is constant... we all go through it whether we choose to or not.

"Winds of change," "Change of Power," Progress and Change... Change is all around us.

People choose to change. Whether an emotional battle (internal or with others), we can CHOOSE to make improvements. Women change their hair colour constantly. We change our clothes because they don't help us "feel" the way we want. We change our wall colours, change our curtains, change our minds.

When we realize that emotional change takes serious reflection and serious work, we decide to change the easier things... surroundings, friends, activities.

"Be the change you want to see in the world." What are you feeling is changing? Can you step up and BE the change? Does the change feel like a wind or does it feel like a ton of bricks? What can you do to accept the change and perhaps make it a "change for the better?"