Changing a Path

Give a child the world, and he will grab it with both hands, right?

If two babies are born at the same time - but one has wealthy parents while the other is poor - which one will be successful in life? Of course, that depends a lot on how you view "success." Logic would lead you to believe that money buys what is needed for success... but money can't pay for success any more than it can solely purchase stability, class or happiness. Sure, it makes things easier - how could it not? But does an easy life guarantee a successful path?

Do the expensive exercise plans always lead to success? If two people start the same diet plan, regardless of cost, do they both stick with it?

The difference is motivation. One would guess that motivated adults typically bring up motivated children. Not always true. Motivation is something that has to come from within. Rich or poor, one has to want something so much to do what it takes every day to make it happen.

The best teachers, bosses and even friends have a natural way to encourage others to be or to do their best. I love people like that. Sadly, I am not one of them, but I try to surround myself with them in hopes of learning.

Different things motivate everyone. But you can't influence someone who refuses - sometimes that can backfire. Several people I care about are dealing with family members who are not performing at their best. You can't change someone else - you can only change how you react and respond.

I have an eight-year-old daughter. I have (hopefully) barely lived half my life here on Earth. I do not have life's answers, but I have learned "how not to be" as much as I have from good examples of what I strive to be. The majority of my opinions and thoughts are based upon my own experiences. Parents are supposed to be teachers, not servants, not assistants and not crutches. The job of a parent is to prepare children for life. Real life. Joys as well as disappointments; triumphs as much as challenges.

Bailing out others and enabling them to continue to fail doesn't work. If there is no fear of consequences, behavior won't change. Telling someone she will never succeed doesn't work either - that just lays the path for failure most times. I try to find balance but keep in mind that everyone is different. I've learned the major key, as well, is following through. Too many parents and too many people threaten something, and then cave and don't do it.

Guiding is hard. Guiding is work. But guiding is rewarding. What guides you? What can you do to guide others? And are you guiding them to the right places the right way? Can they change their own path? Can they find their own motivation? What can you do about it... or what do you need to leave alone?

I think of toddlers learning to walk. They stumble, they fall, they -of course- walk to the things they aren't supposed to. But you can't catch them every time. And you can only redirect them so many times before you must let them learn on their own. Motivate and encourage from the sidelines and hope that they find it in themselves.