As the Saying Goes...

Yes, Change IS constant.

When my daughter was graduating and moving out in the super memorable year of 2020, we agreed that my downsizing to a one-bedroom apartment, *with a sleeper sofa*, made far more sense than staying in a two-bedroom apartment that I wasn't exactly delighted with living.  She was, after all, holding aspirations to move across the country if not out of the United States.

However, I didn't have a plan.  I moved. That was that... one day at a time, right?  Finding my new role as a single, empty-nest working woman pursuing a side gig of fitness.

I continue to be grateful for my first job in Texas, I have been so blessed to find communities focused on fitness, and I still enjoy going to places all around the state.  As far as where to call home though, my new chapter expanded outside the city limits.  My time living alone had challenges and benefits, and then my boyfriend and I decided to combine households this past summer.  So now, this Midwest girl from a small town in Illinois is now calling Lago Vista, Texas her new home.  I've learned a lot about myself the past few years and plan to continue to do so while I have been invited to a new community. 

The people I have met already are so encouraging and supportive... and frankly, downright welcoming, genuine and all around great friends. With the much longer commute, I needed to find employment closer to home, so even more changes continue!

Still needing to step out of my comfort zone, I trust further growth and development exist.  Tomorrow is never known, so you need to take the steps that make you happy today. This moment, and trust yourself.

With a new calendar year approaching already, I have many To-Dos and need to take some time to reflect on the Want-To-Dos. If I have been taught anything in all the paths of my history, it takes faith and patience... and remembering that "Change is Always Constant."

Now What???

Returning to work "full-time" has meant a lot more than being in my office at 8:00 a.m. every weekday.  While I am not able to physically see my daughter every day after she gets home from school now, it has hit me that in just four years, I probably won't even be able to physically see her every day.

She is going to be moving on to college, eventually a career, and if she wants, she will be a Mother... she has her entire journey ahead of her.

But I don't.  Hope has been my greatest accomplishment.  Yes, owning my own Wedding & Event Planning business was a true joy for me and I did love it.  Developing administrative abilities throughout my office positions from Accenture to Peoria Ballet and now Alpha Media is pretty fulfilling.  I like to be proud of myself as a daughter who has lived a pretty respectable life... Yet my focus for the past seventeen years has been to bring up a fantastic human being.  Granted, I am not "done."  I will be here for her as long as I am on the planet.  It's just that we are coming to a point where there isn't much more I can actually do for her, about who she is.  She has her identity.  It will change a bit, like we all do, but I've tried to help build a strong foundation and that part is over.

So, now what?  Is this that Empty Nest syndrome people talk about?  Of course I am ahead of the game - I am an obsessive Planner.  I am doing my best to enjoy where I am in my life right now, but my nature is always to seek "what's next."  To prepare for whatever moves I need to make, to prepare for the next change.  Clairee's line in Steel Magnolias echoes in my mind: "Well.  I really do love football. But it's hard to parlay that into a reason to live."

It seemed a lot easier to know what I wanted when I was younger.  I am not sure of anything now.  I know I need balance.  I need to be able to have flexibility to continue to be available for my daughter.  I want to continue to exercise, enjoy time with my fabulous friends and dance any moment possible.  I want to make a difference and help the world be a better place. But determining what else I want now and how to get there is proving to be a challenge.