I have spent a lot of time, and I'm sure wasted too much energy, analyzing "why" I am here in Austin. I would like to believe that I could have found locations for my dance fitness classes in Peoria... it certainly should have been a lot easier given my established relationships. Could have been. Nothing is guaranteed.
With every non-reply and every "our schedule is full" and every "pay us this much" response, I am all the more grateful for teaching at the State Employee offices. While I still struggle to get space in the rooms there, the support of my participants overwhelms me.
Just in the past month, I have not only had the joy of their participation, but I also received three gifts... a sweet pencil that says "Shine Today," an inspirational calendar that is actually making me excited for January! and a traditional Chinese Mooncake. All three tokens of appreciation brought me tears of joy and heartfelt surprise. The Mooncake, however, stood out. It is named after the Moon Goddess "Chang'e" and symbolizes a spiritual feeling. 'To share this expresses love and best wishes,' and to receive it from Yanmei means a lot to me. She is one of my dedicated supporters who I have been SO very blessed to watch come out of her shell and gain confidence - and she says she feels stronger. Having her hand this to me... telling me how much my classes mean to her... I truly can't express the impact it has had on me.
I hate being insecure. My self-doubt borders on destroying me every damn day. If I can do one small thing and empower any other woman to not feel this dark feeling of being unworthy, I should know that that is success. In my mind, I know I am making a difference. I'm not changing the world, but if I can improve the world for a handful of others, that is priceless. And it's more than I ever thought I could do.
With one of my inspirations retiring this month, I am hoping to gain more opportunities to encourage others. In addition to dance fitness, if... no, WHEN I obtain the Group Fitness Instructor certification, with the help of my new friend Charlotte, I hope to add the toning class of Total Body Conditioning.
These ladies have more drive to exercise than any group I have ever known. Their dedication and energy is impressive, but I love most that they are supportive of one another. When I worked to become certified with SHiNE, I had hoped to get to know some of them and get them out of their comfort zones a bit and let loose. I did not consider the bonds and connections we would make and continue to develop.
I always loved the term "fitfam," but besides my soul sister, Marypat/MP!!!, I had not experienced it. Now, in our classes, my heart swells when I see them rock my new dance steps and listen to their feedback. Receiving gifts from them touches me so deeply. I hoped to instill confidence; I am blown away to make an impact. To be thought of outside our classes is the greatest compliment.
My research reflected that the Mooncake is not just a food, it's a profound cultural tradition deep in Chinese people's hearts, symbolizing a spiritual feeling. Honestly, that is what I want in dance. It isn't just movement. Dancing for me is a freedom of everything... Why I do it all the time, as much and as often as I can. If I can lead others to hold more confidence, then Mister DJ, please, play on.
Mooncake Credit: https://www.chinahighlights.com/festivals/mooncake.htm
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