New Year... Dare, I say "Resolutions?!"

Most of us struggle with weight and our own body images... and New Year's resolutions typically involve eating better or eating healthier or some combination of both.  I'm not one to make resolutions, but I think this is my year that I have to do so. I've been slacking way too much!

After years of fitness, I admit I am battling a fluctuation of about ten extra pounds, and snuggling in versus hitting the treadmill at 5 a.m. has been a lot more appealing to me.  HOWEVER, I am just not happy with how I feel... which is thick. And not in the good way!

I was injured in September 2020 and am still suffering pain in my left side and just under my heart, so I know that I need to be gentle with myself.  This acceptance made me want to re-boot my blog here and invite you to do the same.  Or, if you don't share these goals, offer my advice and guidance to anyone you know facing this right now.

You don't need to "go hard" or thrust 200% to each workout.  Yes - there are times and places for boot camp style workouts, but if you are your own coach, I suggest being a team and supporting yourself. We all beat ourselves up far too much each day - don't let fitness be your tough love time.

I used to run about 1.5 miles three times a week in addition to my other workouts.  Today, I barely did one full mile.  It takes time and patience to get back... neither of which I am known for having! This is very important to me, though, so it's going to have to work.  

My 2022 bloom planner has an entire intro section for goals.  I have a lot of goals - too many, in fact.  But they are all important to me, so I need to figure out how to meet them.  Even if I don't accomplish them all within a year from now, progress is key.  And that is my point to my getting-back-to-Marni fitness stats.

Feel free to join me - and please offer comments and your experiences, if you can.  #strongertogether!

The Dragonfly - Who Knew?

Growing up in the Midwest, I never really paid attention to dragonflies.  Once I knew they wouldn't sting you like wasps, bees and hornets (ouch!), I just saw them and knew I didn't have to feel fear.

Recently in Texas, hanging out with a friend at her pool, a dragonfly landed on me, and she told me it was "good luck."  Laughing, I said that I could use a lot more dragonflies then!  It did return a couple of times, landing on me now and again, and I thanked the little beauty... just in case it was actually trying to provide me some good vibes.

Two days later, at our apartment pool, three different dragonflies kept landing on me - the funniest was a blue on my nose... and yes, one decided to rest on my butt for a bit!  Thinking of what Angie suggested about "luck," I referred to Google for some information.

Of course there is no way to know - every interaction is based on your own perception - but after reading that they carry "wisdom of transformation and adaptability in life," I feel that these little creatures are trying to remind me of my goals.  To Clear my head and get rid of all the baggage that no longer serves me; to Connect spiritually to God and nature and all the Powers That Be; to Continue to grow and develop and flourish as the best person I can be.  To not give up.  Keep looking inward for clarity and know that I am glorious and loving and encouraging.  Success is my own measure, and I have so many blessings.

My journey is nowhere close to being complete - besides, what would I do if it were?  Relax?  Not likely.  But perhaps these aerial beings are coming to me to alert me to lighten up.

I'd like to believe they are sharing the following with me:  Problems aren't generally solved quickly - especially the big ones.  True solutions take time.  Patience is a gift and needs to be practiced to be performed well.  Stay light and adaptable, like the dragonflies, and ride on the winds of life.  You'll arrive where you are meant to be, and you'll know when you get there.   "Stay open to the enfoldment of your personal journey."  I like it... maybe I need another tattoo.

My Google reading sources:
http://www.spiritanimal.info/dragonfly-spirit-animal/
https://themoonlightshop.com/blogs/news/17224984-dragonflies-and-you

Okay... even Bigger Changes

"Everything's bigger in Texas," right?  Does that include Change?
  

I am moving.  I am leaving my life and all that I know.  I am expanding my career path, changing my address and pursuing great changes in myself.  I feel pretty insane.  My friends are the best.  Hope's involvement in Peoria Ballet Company and the Dunlap Dance Teams has been so incredible - I have loved so much of those experiences.  Stage experiences, coaching experiences, all of my volunteer efforts.  The amazing connections I have made with people and businesses.

  

However... there are new challenges and new moments of joy and success if I look to the opportunities rather than the losses.  Some are made by choice, but most changes are forced upon us. This situation is both - I did not choose for my husband's job to be eliminated from his company in January.  But I did choose to do something about it to help our family financially.

My new employment will move us to a better market for my husband's amazing and impressive talents.  As frightened as I am, my confidence in his abilities overshadows doubt.  We still have a long, long way to go, but each step must be taken at a time... with patience and faith, two characteristics that I typically lack.  The bigger the change, the more steps, more setbacks and more dedication required.
 

A quote by Danielle LaPorte was in my social media recently... "How deep change happens: It's not always the dramatic decisions.  It's after persistence, loss, rebuilding, devotion to what you deem meaningful." This adjustment is not something I can just tackle and celebrate victory.  It is going to take a lot of endurance.  I will appreciate any and all support and encouragement, yet I know that I will not be able to rely completely on that.  I am on my own, at least at first. 

Our home will be put up for sale this week and my family will join me in Texas once other pieces fall into place.  In that time, I will be working on self-improvement initiatives and self reliance in a new city, while also researching school districts and mastering a new role in a completely different work environment.  Please follow my journey and provide any feedback possible.  It will mean the world to me.

Our Reactions to Change

So much of our experience with change is perception. When we learn of something changing in our life, some of us immediately spring to a "life is over!" mentality. Other times, what seems like something so exciting can end up being a disappointment.

Changes are inevitable. People will move, people will die, new people will enter. Some changes are loss, while others can be a blessing. Either way, it is not the change that we can control, but we can work on our interpretation of it.

I used to have a sort of mental checklist that I used for happiness, as I am confident most people do. College, marriage, buy a home, upgrade the home, expand the family, travel... I am willing to bet, however, no one includes in that list to have their closest friends move, lose a child, have their employer terminate their position. So while we do plan for come changes, others knock us off course because we are unprepared and those changes are not wanted.

Some view me as 'pessimistic,' while I just think of myself as 'realistic.' Bad things happen - let me correct that: things happen which we interpret are "bad" in our opinions. I do not start everyday thinking "oh, no, WHAT will go wrong today?!" Yet I probably do begin every morning ready to troubleshoot any challenges. It has taken time, years actually, to be stuck behind an idiot in Peoria (yes, there are quite a few who don't truly understand the "fast lane" option in traffic), and instead of riding their back bumper and cursing them under my breath, I take a moment to realize that I am behind them for some reason. Too Zen for you? Just try it - at least for a while. Your heart rate will appreciate it, at least.

When you can let go of the "oh, this is horrible!" or "WHY does this always happen to me?!" mentality, it's pretty enlightening to just give that situation to a greater power. Whether you believe that God places everyone everywhere or in the balance of Karma or that life has ups and downs, it can be pretty therapeutic to "let it go" and just live. (With no pesky bill at the end of the session, too, by the way.)

With every change, you have a choice - you can be angry and resistant, and learn that you have no power, or you can look for any good in it and treat it as a new opportunity. If you honestly cannot find any positives about a situation, then at least it is a sign to let go and move on with something else. Life is short and there is much to do.